I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
