I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
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