I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
