There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
