Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
