so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
