i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
