guys are not supposed to queef...right?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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