The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Randomize
