He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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