my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
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