So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
