R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
