I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
