i don't plan on having that self control this summer
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
What changed your mind?
Being sober
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Randomize
