why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
