can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
