I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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