I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
