My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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