She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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