I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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