So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
