im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
