i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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