god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
