Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
