I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
People in love make me want to vomit
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
