There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
handjob tips. give me some.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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