what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
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