he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
so let's talk penis.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
