Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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