I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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