Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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