I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
