My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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