i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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