if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
