I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
