nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Randomize
