Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Floor bacon is actually really good
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
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