he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Blood and glitter go together right?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Randomize
