went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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