Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
