Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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