Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
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