Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
