What a fucking waste of an outfit
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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