That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
