i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
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