whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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