i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
