People with herpes should wear stickers.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
