I'm laying in your front yard are you home
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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